Maruniya
by Scarlet Thorrn
Summary: G1/Prime;Skywarp Starscream Thundercracker. All respectable Decepticons in their own rights... So what would it take to change them? To change their Trine for good? What would make one of them run away from the 'cons- to the 'bots, leaving his brothers, not expecting to be fallowed by them? Love? Old friends? Hmm how 'bout a little reminder of the old days? So, a Sparkling perhaps?
1. Prologue: A Seeker's Code

**AT: Got this idea from another Fan Fic... This is a bit of an odd one. It's both G1 and Prime... Yeah, just pause for a klick, and mentally create a universe with both of that stuff involved... Odd. It was actually kind of a random spark- and I'm a little worried cuz normally when I have an idea I plot for a while before doing anything...but nope not this time!XD But anywho, to get right to the point, I wanted to see what it would be like if I could possibly twist some stuff to make this Trine (AKA my fav character no less-hence I can't choose between the 3 ;P) become Autobots somehow, and then this idea popped up... **

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**One note; if anyone actually has an _actual _Seeker's code or whatever, please tell me and I'll change it or something! This just sounded cool :P And yes I did make it up, all of it except the first line. :D**

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**Maruniya**

Prologue

_A Seeker's Code_

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**~Skywarp~ **

_**One shall protect the young always.**_

I step towards the limp frame.

_One shall defend the innocence of their spark. _

I pause, hesitant.

_One shall never allow the weak to suffer._

I shake off the odd feeling, and lift up the aging iron bar, freeing the trapped innocent.

_One shall guard safe those who can not hope for themselves._

A moan sounds, and a regretful smile plays to my lips.

_One shall forever lift up the ones that fall._

Lifting the damaged frame, and holding her to my chest, I brush off the scattered dust and cradle the slowly breathing sparkling.

_For to not do so, would be to betray the young, the innocent, the weaker, the blessing, and the free of sin._

I close my optics, my smile unfading. For the first time in a long time, I've obeyed my natural programming, and feel my spark flutter. Lifting the sparkling to my shoulder, I pat her across the back and glance at the rubble surrounding us. I need to fly, get away before this whole thing comes crashing down! But I know I won't leave her here... No. No that isn't even an option! But where can I go? Going back to the Decepticons with a sparkling that Megatron would tare to pieces the moment he saw is- _unacceptable._ _But to where then? _My Trine-Mates could help... They _would _help!.. Wouldn't they? I know Thundercracker would. Starscream... Well, my elder brother can be a bit...unpredictable at times, but surly he would see that we need to help this innocent! _Wouldn't he?_ _And what if..._

Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts...What if Cracks' doesn't really help? What if I'm all wrong about this? What if I _am _wrong?! What if I should have just flown away and left her here!? What have I gotten-

The sparkling who rests on my shoulder whimpers and snuggles closer to me, searching my heat. I hold her closer, unwilling to let the almost '_harsh' _winds of Upper-Canada harm her. That is, if you can call this mid-fall breeze 'harsh'. Honestly it's not more than a cool touch to the wings, but to a sparkling... I need not struggle to remember that it is all too easy for them to freeze.

Struggling to keep my cool, I gently stroke her back, and lightly caress her wingtips. Whether she's a Seeker or something else doesn't matter right now, all that does is getting her away from this wreckage of the battle. I frown at that. As of usual, the Autobots kicked out tailpipes, and as always, Megatron called for us to retreat. Well, not 'always'...just usually...if you can call the usual 10/1 for us.

Tilting my helm, I look at the little sparkling. She shivers as she draws away from me slightly. Her emerald optics gleam as she peers into mine, obviously interested. But hunger and fatigue overcome curiosity, and she slumps against me, her helm tilting so she can still stare at me with wide, bright optics.

I force a comforting smile onto my faceplate, and ignore the silence of her stare. It hurts. I wish she were laughing, crying, beeping, _anything_ other than the silence! It's as if she doesn't believe I'll stick around to help her, and I'll just leave her behind. _Like the others...?_ I allow myself to shudder once before pushing the thought back. No. Not right now. I can think about that later. Not now. It doesn't matter if we are both used to abandonment or whatnot, it only matters about making a decision!

I look to her once more, her pleading gaze offers little comfort...but then suddenly an idea pops up...

I can't bring her back to the Decepticons but what if...

_...The Autobots could help... _

I swallow a breath... No! What am I thinking?! I'm a _Decepticon! _A _'con_! _They'd never help me! And then what would they do to her!? _I start to feel panic creeping into my system. I sallow a shudder and look back to the sparkling. The more I look at her, the more I try to think, but- damn... I'm not known for my processor or grate idea's... Well, I guess I could be. I mean, everybody knows it was me who decorated base in red with dashes of pink and scarlet roses and loving hearts for Valentine's Day... Well at least Knock Out liked it.

I sigh, but my helm whips up as I here rocks starting to crumble and what remains of the crashed shuttle starting to give out from under us. We shake physically, and that's when I know I need to leave! Gripping the sparkling, I hug her close to my chest as I spin on a heel and dash from the cave-like structure! My breath races and I bite my lip. _Faster! _I think, but I'm already sprinting as fast as I can! Dread clutches me as the 'building' shakes again. I see the light at the end of the tunnel .. If I could just transform fast enough, I could speed out of here and save myself before it collapses. But then I would have to leave- My optics narrow. No. That is unacceptable.

Gritting my denta, I jump forward as a rock the size of my chest smashes into the ground and rolls downwards through the tunnel.

Dust clings to my optics and I let out a annoyed grunt. It burns further when I crouch to duck under some fallen components of the crashed shuttle, and the air almost blinds me as I hurry to stand again. The ground shakes and I let out a slight cough. I hear the sparkling whimper and I can't stop myself from murmuring. "We'll be O.K.!" My tone is strained and full of suppressed worry, but it's as calm as I can muster it to be. And to my relief, the little one whimpers only once more before again cradling herself into a ball on my chest. Normally, I'd smile at the sweet site and the flutter in my spark- but not today! Dashing forward, I hold my breath. Closer... Closer... Closer... Finally I'm just about at the exit!

The cave grumbles hatefully and a rock over half my size crashes in front of me! Luckily, being almost as slim and sleek as my older brother, Starscream, I don't bother in questioning hopping up, and literally sliding through the gap in the rocks. There's curve in the floor, though, it dips just under where the rock fell, giving all the more height to my fall. I give a painful howl as I land in an awkward position and my ankle gives out, so rendering I almost crash to the ground. Gripping the rocky/metal wall beside me, I wobble up the last bit of the cave, my free servo wrapped around the sparkling protectively.

My only thought is to break free of this hellhole, and I find myself _praying _for anyone to help me! _Primus!_ _Or anyone! Please, please, please help me! I can't let her die in here! _I let out a whimper as the cave rumbles again. I know I'm not going to make it. _Oh dear Primus, help me! _I squint my optics shut, unable to watch as the cave truly starts to collapse around me. "So this is how I shall die." I murmur my last thought to the sparkling still wrapped in my tight embrace. I refuse to let her go. Nauh. Not for one second! "I'm sorry that this happened to you...and that I couldn't save you..." I whisper ever so quickly to her as I painfully jump out of the path of another falling rock. The cave is starting to collapse in on itself from the back forward, but as I try to again hobble onwards the dread and another wave of realization passes over me. There _is_ no way to make it. "And I was so close..." I whisper my final words as a rock breaks loose from atop of me. Cradling the sparkling in my arms, I refuse to let her go. And the events flash through my processor...

The Energon signal from the crashed ship both factions tracked to this site. The battle, quick and to the point. The others fleeing. The sharp cry I heard when I onlined my optics again. The pain I felt as I slowly made my way towards it. The shock of seeing the Sparkling trapped there, under the beam. And finally now, the fear as I consider my last moments. I should have ran. But I didn't. I should have never fallowed the scream that echoed around in the dark hallways. But I did. I shouldn't have tried to save her. I don't even know who she is!.. But I did.

I peer into her emerald optics just as the shadows begins to quicken in its pace. It only is going to take a moment, but I feel like every millisecond takes hours to pass. All because of that wonderful, bright gaze. Such innocence... Such pity... Such sadness, as now, she will never grow into adulthood...

My optics narrow, and my spark freezes. Unacceptable. I jump from the ground! My one working thruster surging to life! It's the twisted one, which makes it all the more painful- but I ignore it as my Energon boils in my veins and I leap into the cool breeze of the outside world!

The crashing sounds not a moment later and stuck in mid-air (my thruster no longer firing) I twist my frame so to land on my back. I connect with the rocky ground and I wince as a sharp pain throbs in my right wing. Allowing my helm to hit the gravel-like stuff, I take in a few long, deep breaths.

I stare at the blue sky. Its unchanging, solid blue depth is forcing my possessor to peak into reality again.

A tiny, thin servo digs itself into my chest. I let out a groan, the slight wound paining me more than it should.

Bolting upright, I have just enough self-control not to glare and shout at the Sparkling. And it's good I do, for her grip on me fails and she slumps forward, nuzzling hopelessly onto my chest.

My temper softens and I stroke her little helm. "Little one..." I murmur to the child softly. She gives a tired squawk. She is still conscious, but that fact probably wont remain true. Not for long at least.

I sigh. I know I need to do something, and frankly, the risk is well worth it if I'm to save her.

Tossing her high into the air, I quickly transform as she squeals in surprise (and possibly delight) and I make sure to catch her carefully in my alternate form. Actually taking the time to operate the seatbelt, I strap it around her tightly, before closing the roof.

I take in a sharp breath, bracing myself for the next-to-unbearable pain I know is to come, before rebooting my flight systems, and taking off towards the now known Autobot base.

_Never thought I'd go crawling to them for help. _I think to myself gruffly, trying to ignore the aching, throbbing pain in both my processor and my frame. I give a huff, but decide to pass the time. ":Well little one, whatever happens, I can at least say _you'll_ be O.K.:" I inwardly smile as she claps her servos with a giggle. She probably has no idea what I'm saying.

Turning my thoughts to the sky, I let out a sigh as the wind rushes past my wings, making a slight shudder tickle my circuits. I forget some of the pain nagging at my processor and concentrate on flying as quickly as I can. ":Come on, little one, let's find a way to get you home.:"

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**Well, there you go! I really just got this idea, and so I wrote like half the chapter, then I came back and finished it, and now I'm posting...hmm...this is odd behave for me indeed... And it seems kinda short to me... (?) Anyways, please forgive any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. They are either typos, or just simply the offspring of my ever-waging laziness._ *huffs*_ Anywho, encase your wondering, the fanfic that I got the idea from is called "Lonely" It's really grate and I would recommend reading it! ****(Here's the basic info if interested- **Rated: Fiction T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Starscream & Flareup - Chapters: 43 - Words: 46,648**)** **And y'all already know what it's called!.. Are you allowed to do that? Advertise? Or whatever you wanna call it?.. Hmm... _*shrugs*_ Ah well! I did it cuz it's awesomeXD!**

**But onto the things that actually matters... Should I go on with this story? Please, _please,_ PLEASE review and tell me! I _love_ reviews, and PM's! They make me feel so happy! :3 And I have a couple of idea's of where this story could go as either a long or short one. (Probably a long knowing me :P) **

**But anyway, if you guys do want me to go on, then I promise that in the up-coming chapters things will make more sense then this oneXD And no, I won't just say "So Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp, _magically _became Autobots!" Noooooo, they might not in the end! I don't know... I'll suggest it to'em, but- _*shrugs*_ any good authors know that your characters- _ahhe_****_m, '_peeps that you happen to be working with' don't always do what you want them to XD Oh well, I guess we'll just have to find out!**

**OOOOOHHH yeah! BY THE WAY! I found the 'Cover Art' online, and for some glitched up reason, I couldn't get a link to ANYWHERE and, well, I have no idea who drew it... So I couldn't actually ask... So, intern, if you know who drew it, and you know the artist would appreciate if I didn't use their work, just send me a PM or post a Review and I'll change it. :) I don't want to upset anybody... I just saw it on Google, and thought it worked kinda well..._ *trails off into deep thought of the cuteness*_**

**Please Leave A Review And Have An Awesome Day! (Or Night, Depending On What Time It Is XD)**

**~Scarlet :D **


	2. Chapter 1 Good Deeds and Breaking Oaths

**AT/So, I wrote the first few chapters in this story, but then I had to scrap them, realizing that, if I actually wanted this to work out, then I would really need to do some heavy thinking. That's why I didn't touch the story for so long, but, then I realized that I was only going to give myself a headache as it wasn't working out. Not wanting to give up on this story, I went ahead and wrote this with the changed- er...plot... **

**So really, this story only pretends to have a thought out plot :P I have an idea of this and that, but suggestions are very much welcome! **

**Well, the only thing I wanted to say really, was that I'm going to try and make this work through a different style then I'm used to. As I said, suggestions are welcome so if you don't like where the story is going or you think I need to spice it up a bit, shoot me a PM or post a review and I'll work on it right away. I got the feeling that I'm not gonna be able to do this story alone ****J**

**So, without wanting to keep you any longer then needed, here's the first chapter!**

**~Enjoy**

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**Maruniya**

Chapter 1

_Good Deeds and Breaking Oaths_

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**~Thundercracker~**

**I** **watch and I wait.** My intakes cycle quickly as I look out to the sky again. _He's not coming. He's not coming. _I think to myself for possibly the millionth time. An involuntary shudder dances up my spine causing another wave of panic to caress me.

A comm. comes in from Soundwave, breaking the almost eerie silence and forcing me to pause. ":Thundercracker: summoned to the Command Center by Lord Megatron:"

I frown, but reply. "Of course, I'll be there at once."

Soundwave cuts the comm. and I waste no time in pulling myself back together, trying to appear confident as I hurry down to the Command Centre. It doesn't take long to reach the broad door to the room, and as I step inside, I glance to the right, spotting Starscream standing off in the shadows silently, his optics trained off elsewhere. I pass my younger brother a slight frown - one that he does not receive - and carry on to the center of the room where Megatron stands. "Lord Megatron," I greet respectively, giving a slight bow out of habit.

At first my Leader says nothing, his dim optics studying a large monitor across the room, then, his voice icy and emotionless, he states all business like and formal. "Skywarp has not returned, as you know."

I bite my lip, nervousness starting to wiggle its way into my spark. I'm ready to beg Megatron to let me go and search for him, but in the time being, only nod.

He still does not look to me, and there's a slight pause before he says darkly. "And I would most approve if you did not go out to search for him."

My intakes hitch, my voice cracks dry, and my ruby optics cycle wide. I can't keep down the horrified gasp that brakes from my throat. Through our Trine bond, I shove all the worry and distress I can towards Starscream, praying, that he'll come to my rescue and help my convince Megatron to allow us, or at least me - I can't bring myself to care at this point - to go and bring Skywarp back. Although the Trine bond could be stated as none personal, deep, meaningful emotions can still be pushed through, and judging by the way Starscream shifts from his concealment, I'm guessing he got the message.

"Master," Starsceam's careful voice fills in for my missing one. "It is best that we search for Skywarp, else-"

"Are questioning _my _judgment, Starscream?" Megatron's suddenly snaps, switching from deathly calm and icily collective to dangerously aggressive all in a moment.

"N-no!" Starscream stammers, he stands at my side now. His servos lightly trembling and optics slightly wider then usual. He knows where this is going, as do I, and it doesn't look the best for our brother. "It is just that if Skywarp were to be captured-"

"_Silence!_" Megatron barks, "Soundwave! What is the probability of Skywarp's capture?"

I watch in silent horror as the Telepath steps forward. But something's off… I swear, he appears almost _hesitant, _and even passes a glance in my - no, _Starscream's _- direction. The navy mech turns to his Leader, and ever loyal, says in that accursed monotone of his. "Lord Megatron. Probability of Skywarp's capture in possible highly damaged condition: 71%. Probability of permit deactivation: 24%."

"Tell me, Soundwave," Megatron suddenly gloats, "what is his chance of returning?"

"Probability of return: 5%."

Megatron smirks, "but is it certain that he will not?"

"Negative. Probability of return: 5%." Soundwave's stance shifts just barely, and I see him slide an almost _apologetic _look towards Starscream. Though as I look to my brother, I find only pleading optics whilst the rest of him remains completely indifferent.

Megatron nods and turns back to me, most likely preparing to dismiss us. I take in a stumbling breath. I can't let this die down yet. "Lord Megatron, please!" I suddenly find my voice and supply desperately, "I beg that you allow us to search for our-"

The Warlord cuts me off with a swipe of his servo. He scowls, his red optics dipping into deep maroon as anger swallows him, and he growls out. "Your brother is on his own. He's not a sparkling. If he can't take care of himself then that is _his_ problem."

"But-!"

"Enough!" Megatron roars, slamming his fist down on the closest table. I wince, my tank twisting painfully in dread. Furry burns in Megatron's optics as he slowly takes heavy steps towards me. "Skywarp can take care of himself. If he dies then so be it. Understand that it is his fate not yours." He raises a hand to strike me, and I cringe, wings snapping down and optics shuddering off as I anticipate the unavoidable pain of the blow.

But it never comes.

My optics online and I face the sight of Megatron towering over me. "You are a Decepticon, Thundercracker," he says darkly. "Start acting like one." With that he turns and walks away.

I stare after him, dumbfounded and possibly even a little hurt... I joined Megatron's Cause vorns ago, and I'd like to think I've been unquestionably loyal through all of this. He should know that by now... I am a Decepticon. Nothing's going to change that. And I act like one too... I am one. I-

A tug on my arm draws me from my thoughts. I look up as Starscream begins to pull me from the room. I don't fight, and merely walk with him as he leads me from the Command Centre and down passageways and corridors. My optics are glued to the floor as we walk. I don't speak and neither does he. Through both our Trine-bond and the bond we were sparked with as siblings, I feel Starscream's concern, but when I glance up, his face is as impassive as always.

Suddenly though, we stop, and my gaze wonders around absently as Star' punches in a code and we step into a room. It takes a moment, but finally it registers where we are.

Without being told to I take a seat at the end of Starscream's berth. My shoulders slump and my wings droop. My spark feels pained. Not from Megatron's words, but from Skywarp's absence. I should have stayed behind. What was I thinking? Skywarp is such an idiot, he could be dead right now and- no, no he isn't dead. I would know if he were dead. We both would... But that doesn't help to settle the aching feeling in my spark.

"Hey," I hear Starscream say.

I look up, and he hands me a cube. Huh. I didn't even see him go out.

Starscream takes a seat beside me as I sip down the processed Energon. Refuelling is the last thing on my mind right now, but I might as well. I pause, though, and look at him. He just sits there, optics trained off in the distance. "Hey, you should eat something." I try to hand him the cube, but he shakes his helm.

"No, it's okay, I'm not hungry. I'm just..." he trails off and lets the sentence hang unfinished.

I sigh, "Come on, Star'. I know you're just as worried as I am." I try not to sound too mellow, but I know there's no way I can add any encouragement into my words.

Starscream takes a long breath, and silence echoes within the room for minutes. "Do you think he'll be alright?" he suddenly whispers.

I look to him again, and I see his optics water. I feel my own coolant starting to make blurry my vision and I gingerly place the empty cube down on the floor. "Oh, 'Warp..." I mutter, closing my optics and letting my helm rest on Starscream's shoulder. "I hope so, Star', I hope so..." He says nothing more and we sit there in silence, hoping with all that is in us that he'll return.

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**~Skywarp~**

**The sun is dipping down into the sky at an alarming rate, and I wonder if we'll make it there before the night settles in.** Flying after dark would mean death, as I want the Autobots to know I'm coming. I can blend into the night sky better than anyone in my faction, and I can be as silent as a feather if I so wish- so with that, comes surprise. And for once, I'm not aiming to sneak up on my enemies, or make an out-of-nowhere brake-in-and-attack.

No, I need them to see me, and I need them not to shoot me down the moment I'm spotted. I've considered comm. linking them...but that could back fire just as badly as it could work... And with a sparkling onboard, I can't afford to make any mistakes with this.

I heave a sigh, and tilt my wings up so I glide downwards. As I slowly fall, I listen to the soft breathing of the sparkling I rescued. I inwardly smirk as she turns over and murmurs a few incoherent words in her sleep, she fell into recharge hours ago, and she appears to be a rather heavy sleeper. No noise of rattling engines has awoken her yet, and so I am just content to let her sleep. _This is insane, I realize that right? _I start to remind myself as I split through heavy gray clouds. _Me, going after little noises to save a life I don't even know! And now I'm crawling to the Autobots for help, hence I have no idea what the slag I'm doing!.. I'm such loyal Decepticon indeed._

I exit the thick, wispy line of clouds and dive a little further down. The light from the roaring bright red and orange sunset glares off into the sky, making me twinkle like a black diamond. Very spottable indeed. I just hope that the Autobots won't take that as a sign to shoot me down on site...

Pushing back the unsettling thought of deactivation, I try to concentrate my thoughts effectively on flying onwards to my destination, but again and again, questions arise...

Who is this sparkling? Why am I risking so much to help her? I know nothing of who she is, or where she came from. So why do I care at all? _I really just should have left you there._ I think to myself cruelly. The sparkling shifts, and mumbles something incoherent. I smile inwardly, and before I know it, I've forgotten previous thoughts, and am mumbling. ":Hush, hush now little one...we'll be there soon, ya'll see.:" She turns over, and snuggles into the warm seat. I sigh, and, hesitating for only a moment, loosen the seatbelt - only slightly - just enough so she can lie more comfortably. She gives a soft purr of gratitude before she falls deeply back into recharge. Not that she was ever out of it.

Managing just barley to turn my thoughts back to the skies, I frown as dark memories of the past start to circle in my possessor...

_The air was warm, and the battle heated. I flew in, releasing a missile onto a random Autobot, and transforming to run to Thundercracker. To be honest, I had no idea why- he wasn't even having any trouble... I guess I was just kind of 'bored.' Nothing was really happening. I mean, sure we were all going at it like wild beasts, but that's nothing new now is it?_

_I spotted Starscream backed up against the cliff-side, just barley managing to hold off three Autobots. It appeared his left arm was deactive, as he was not moving it to the slightest. I decided that I could bug Thundercracker later, and dashed over to help my Trine leader. With a single punch to the right place in the lower back, the lone femme - a deep green one - stopped, and I was able to push her way easily. I felt almost kinda bad treating a femme like that, but these weren't your ordinary 'curl up and snuggle while watching a movie' femmes. _

_I had learned that the hard way back when I was a rookie._

_Screamer was able to kick one of the mechs to the ground, and we both turned to find the last mech gone. I looked at my older bro and we both nodded. Looking out over the battle, we scanned the scene 'til finally he spotted something. "There! Look!" I fallowed his pointing servo (which had been temporarily switched into a claw for the battle) and my gaze came to rest over the crashed entrance of the ship. _

_Both factions had fallowed a signal to that site. Due to a high Energon reading, it was too good for either side to pass up. And of course we just 'happened' to show up at basically the same time and things kicked off as usual. Prime and Megs' had their little dramatic speech with a surprisingly small amount of monologuing, and things went from there!_

_I nodded to my older brother and we started on our way up to the shuttle. But I found it rather...uneventful. Despite thirty or so Autobots trying to slag us as we breached the crashed ship..._

_This morning, I hadn't really been feeling myself, and throughout the entire day, I had felt relatively bored with the whole thing. As much as I hate to admit it, these past few weeks, I've been feeling...different. Nothing is amusing anymore, and I found myself at loss with just a longing. A longing for home. _

…_I was homesick... _

_It had been centuries since I felt that, the calling for home... My real home. Vos. I wanted to see them again. I wanted my family. I wanted to see my Carrier and Sire! I didn't want to feel alone... Sure, my brothers were there. But what about Nightlily? How many vorns had it been since I last saw her? Since 'any of us' saw her? I missed her dearly...though, it is unlikely that we or I would ever see her again anyway. _

_I was fighting in a war. Just another soldier... _

_Starscream and I ducked behind the forced open doors, and started firing at the mechs that ran at us. We managed to hold them off long enough for Thundercracker to show up. With the last member of our Trine, we ventured forth into the shuttle. Rocks and jagged pieces of metal blocked us at every turn, but with some persistence and a little help from my 'warping' ability, we managed to get through alright._

_Finally we found the mane energy source, and were about to extract when__**-**_

_**BOOM!**_

_The last thing I remember was Starscream and Thundercracker running out of a tunnel, and Megaton's booming voice to retreat…_

_I onlined hours later, I felt awful, and every movement pained me. But still I got up. I tried a communication link with base, but only picked up static. That's when I heard the soft cries echoing down the corridor…_

"DECEPTICON!"

I'm snapped out of my thoughts at the roar. I look to find, not far below me, are the Cybertronains I've been searching for all this time.

":Great," I mutter to myself, ":just great.:" I transform out of my alt form, and teleport both myself and the sparkling to the ground. Holding her close in the soft moonlight as I approach the Autobots…

* * *

**~Starscream~**

**"You can't be serious!" I exclaim, shocked.**

Thundercracker looks to me, his gaze dark and full of purpose. "Yes. I am." He sighs, his optics locked on the floor for a moment. He turns and gazes out at the midnight. "I'm going out to look for him, Star'...I have to... I promised _her_ I'd look after him...that I'd look out for the both of you..."

My spark clenches at the mention of our carrier. My mouth clams shut and I take a step forward.

Thundercracker continues, "If- if something happens to Skywarp...then it'll be my fault... I have to go. I gotta look for him...and, you can't stop me. Please, Star', I don't want to fight you. Just let me go, and I'll take whatever punishment Megatron has for me." He turns slowly and looks into my optics, "What is it you say then, brother?"

My optics fall to the ground. The gentle night breeze sweeps in and tingles with my wings. I close my optics for a moment and breathe out, "You're disobeying direct orders..."

Thundercracker pauses and there is silence between us. Finally though, he speaks resentfully. "Orders my aft," he grumbles, "I'm going, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me." He sounds angry, distressed... Thundercracker walks out to the landing pad, "Goodbye, Starscream." His voice is heavy and void of emotion. He jumps and is about to transform when my helm snaps up.

"Wait!" I call, sprinting out to the landing pad after him. I grip his arm, "I'm coming with you!"

Disbelief flashes across my older brother's faceplate, "But what about-"

I cut him off with a shake of my helm, "It doesn't matter..." I give a half-sparked smirk, "Come on. Let's go find our little brother."

Thundercracker smiles warmly, his optics both brightening and dimming in gratitude, "Thank you." He murmurs, and we both transform and fly out into the night.

* * *

**~Skywarp~ **

**I swallow hard, gripping the sparkling and hugging her closer to my chest.**

The female Autobot looks me up and down for a moment, her blaster still raised, before she spits. "What is it you want, Decepticon!?" She waits a moment, before charging up her weapon. "And what is it you hold!?"

Another Autobot steps up, and to my relief, he appears more calm then the angered femme. "Whatever you are holding," he starts carefully, his hands raised slightly- portraying he holds no weapon. "Put it down, slowly, and we won't have reason to harm you."

My voice is dry, and my chest, tight. I fight to form words, but they don't come out right, and it all sounds more like a frustrated whimper.

The calmer-looking Autobot takes a moment to glance at the femme, and gives her a nod. A look of utter disbelief crosses her faceplate and a scowl edges her lips. But the mech only turns back to me, and suddenly the weapons from the scout, the medic, and the femme have been lowered. The Autobot then takes a step towards me. I flinch, and he pauses. I look down into my arms, and hold the sparkling all the more securely, yet still remember to be gentle with the delicate frame. The Autobot eyes me for a moment, trying to discover what I hold- but looking back to him, I swallow and hold myself still. Every part of me _screams_ to run as he slowly approaches, but I hold my place. I came here, and I can't turn back.

The Autobot stops for a second, and again looks me over. My breath stills and my spark stops. He takes a step closer. I don't move. He takes another. Still my frame is frozen. Slowly, the Autobot closes the gap, and so he stands only a few meters away.

My gaze wonders downwards and I look at my chest. The Autobot fallows my gaze, and I know the time is right. Letting out a slight sigh of tickling fear, I uncurl my grip on the sparkling, and turn her around so the 'bot can see her.

I hear a dozen gasps, and look up to see other Autobots present as well. And to my horror, Optimus Prime himself stands not far off from myself and the sparkling. It is then that I notice the light that is being shined on us. I squint, my scarlet optics not adjusted to the brightness, and again turn the sparkling so she rests on my shoulder. I don't look up. I just hold her close to me, while staring blankly at the ground. I couldn't hide that I'm afraid if my life depended on it, which it probably does...

"Hand him over." I hear the calm-looking Autobot's voice say, but it's sterner then what he has spoken previous, and I flinch. I swallow a breath, reminding myself that- _This is what I came here for. Do what they say!_ I look up shyly, and holding down a shudder, gently pull the sparkling from my embrace. She whimpers at the sudden rush of cool air, and grunts as she is placed into unfamiliar servos. I firmly have to keep myself from cooing and hushing her.

The Autobot steps away, and stands closer to the medic that I've seen on some occasions. What is his name? Railgate? Or Rave-

My thoughts turn back to the Autobot leader as he suddenly steps in front of my slightly trembling form.

Prime looks to me, and he appears very, _very _serious. "What is your designation?" He asks sternly.

"Sky-Skywarp..." I answer immediately, unsure as of why. There is no chance they'll let my go, but all the same, Optimus Prime is no mech to play games with.

The Autobot leader frowns. He must know me...somehow. _Oh scrap, I'm in for it. _I think, fear making my body tremble further. I feel it as it twists itself deep within my tank. It hurts, and I want to run. Get away and hide somewhere far, far away. But I don't. The wind rushes past me for a quick moment, and I think I almost relax. I feel the need to fly, but just knowing the wind is so close is enough comfort for now. But I doubt I shall ever fly again, really.

"Take him to the brig."

_Bingo. _

The sparkling is handed to the medic, and I'm given a few strange glances by the gathering Autobots. I ignore them, and before I can be restrained, I look pleadingly at the medic, and say as quickly as I can. "She was trapped at the wreck of the ship- you have to look at her, carefully! She could have-" I don't have time to finish. A shock zaps through my frame! I'm stunned as sharp pain digs deeply into both joints and circuits, making a shaky howl pass my lips. A pair of stasis cuffs are slapped on my wrists, and I try not to wince as the femme grips one of my wings and starts to lead me away.

"Com'on you worthless 'con." She mutters harshly.

Ignoring the ache in my body, and the annoyance of the painful treatment to my sensitive wing- I twist my frame as far as I can muster to look once last at the sparkling. Her wide, emerald optics meat mine for just a moment, and she appears confused. Baffled, I pull out an encouraging smile, and say softly. "Manere fortis parvulus! Tutus es..." A servo swipes across my face, and I turn back to the femme. I don't speak, and merely watch as she tightens her hold on me and pulls me onwards. I wish I could look back at the sparkling, her calm gaze is the only thing that could offer me any comfort- but that is not an option now, so I must keep my back to the little one as I am led to my doom.

If I could, I would roll my optics.

* * *

**Well, there we go! That's chapter 1! Please Review~ and-**

**If you want to know why this chapter is called what it is, just read it. **

**Both Sky, TC and Star' all break Decepticon rules. Skywarp ventures to the Autobots (to save the sparkling) and his brothers disobey direct orders from Megatrom himself. But, while doing so, they are doing it for 'Good', therefore, you could say 'Good Deeds'. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! (even though I know it needs more editing) Please tell me what you think and if I should go on with this. No sure if I should or not…this story could be epic, or it could be a disaster. I got no problem with it being in-between but, *shrugs* I'm not sure.**

**By the way: **What Skywarp said at the end there means-** "**Remain strong, child! You are safe...**" **

**Lol, wel, hopefully, see you soon. Please Leave A Review And Have A wonderful day :D **


	3. Chapter 2 Lonely Burdens

**AN/ I can't believe how many views this story has gotten! I feel loved X3**

**Anyway, **_**so sorry**_** for the late update, it took me a while to really figure out this chapter, cuz…well, life's been stupid (but I won't trouble you about that) and… shit. Guys…I hate myself for this, but for this story to go anywhere, we are going to need to *gulp*…break…Starscream…**

**If you're anything like me, you're like this O_O- but, if anything (I'm gonna say this for myself) it needs to be done… Oh and, there's an **_**indication **_**of… something…at the end of this chapter- just warning you, since I think I need to- it's NonCon…or is it DubCon? Well, either way, it means Rape :'(**

**Anyway, as for Warpy…well, next chapter I plan to have a POV of one of the Autobots, **_(If you have an idea of who it should be, let me know!) _**but for now you only get a short little thing with Skywarp- this chapter is more about TC and Screamer, but don't fret! The mystery behind this young sparkling will soon be revealed!**

**Remember, I do accept suggestions, so don't be shy! XD**

**Thanks for all the reviews~favs~fallows~and all that jazz :P**

**OH: **ur, you can say that Starscream is a little (possibly allot, heh heh) OOC in this, 'cause, he sticks up for Thundercracker… And, other stuff… But, thing is, our favourite little Trine here is going to be a bit OOC for the first little bit of this story, simply 'cause I can't think of another way to push the story onwards. :/ But, they are brothers, (in this story at least) so, actually, it makes sense to me at least that they would look out for each other to some degree. And for Starscream, he doesn't want to see Thundercracker get hurt the way he does. It's his burden to bare. Not his brother's.

**Please forgive any typos or grammar errors. I don't have a beta reading over this...:(**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

**Maruniya**

Chapter 2

_Lonely Burdens_

* * *

**~Skywarp~**

**Shifting so I lay across my front, my optics scan the room for perhaps the billionth time. **I should be recharging, building my strength for what I know is to come, but anxiety keeps me held tight within the world of the conscious.

Burying my faceplate in my arms, I force my optics shut, and hold down the almost overpowering urge to scream in frustration. I feel so worried, about, not only the sparkling, but my brothers as well. I blocked them through our bond, unable to face whatever they're feeling. Regret, satisfaction, sorrow, indifference, I really don't know… Holding back a sigh, I shake my helm. I can't keep my spark from pounding at the thought of them… _Do they even care where I am? Are they worried, or have they even noticed?.. Could they be…glad…?_

I lay my helm on the stiff berth, my arms shifting so my wrists lay more comfortably. With the cuffs that have yet-to-be-removed still clamped around my armour, I can't 'warp' away; and can barely move, for that matter.

My thoughts turn over. _I'll be deactivated… _I think grimly. _The Autobots will interrogate me for information… _A groan escapes me_. I won't be able to last… There's just no way! And then, my brothers will be glad to finally be rid of me. They left me there, after all…_

My optics start to water. Curling up, I force back the tears. I can't cry. I'm a grown mech. A Decepticon warrior! Sniffling, I pull my legs to my chest, my wings drooping. My brothers don't care. I'll be deactivated, and… My body begins to tremble as my processor lunges at the thought.

Darkness… Numb sensors… Cold, icy solitary… Being utterly and undoubtedly alone… Forever…

My spark feeling heavy, I curl tighter and wrench the gathering coolant back.

As my processor turns to the sparkling, the smallest amount of hope bristles me. Prime wouldn't let anything happen to an innocent life, so she'll at least be fine. As for me…

Feeling cold and reluctant, I close off the cruel world, willing it all it go away. The joy, the sadness, the thrills, all of it. So that, if I can put it all back, then maybe, just maybe, it won't be so hard to part with.

* * *

**~Starscream~**

"**I expect this sort of thing from Starscream, but you, Thundercracker? **Disobedience has never been your style."

Thundercracker says nothing, though through our bond I feel rage starting to boil within him. But he holds the seething emotions back; answering Megatron would only result in more trouble, so rendering that we may never find Skywarp, and that he will be punished… And truly, I pray that Thundercracker will get out of this unharmed. Myself, well, I've grown accustomed to Megatron's beatings over the vorns, this punishment no doubt will be exceedingly painful, but I will prevail. I always do.

We returned to the Nemesis mere minutes ago, unsuccessful in our search for our younger Trine-mate, and I'm already bowed down on my knees while Thundercracker stands before our Leader.

Megatron has wasted no time with us, and although I wait to be addressed, I know I'm in for the worst of it.

I give a sort of sigh, a small dent in the mass of re-ventilated air, and keep my head bowed. I don't know what to do. As much as I want to 'put-myself-down' for allowing Thundercracker to show a complete and utter disregard for direct orders, taking flight out after our younger brother, (and taking part myself no less!) I just…cannot… It's odd. I'm positive had it been anything else that caused me to be in this situation, I'd be bashing my helm against the wall!.. But it isn't. Skywarp, my brother, _our_ brother, is missing, and we don't know if he's even in or out of statis.

Skywarp must have blocked us, I can't come up with another explanation, but why? Typically, you would think Skywarp would comm. us the second he could! But… _I just don't know… He could be dying, while we're here, doing absolutely nothing. _The thought makes me sick. Of course, the first place we checked (after trying, and failing, to get a hold of Skywarp) was the crashed-shuttle sight, but all we found was the predicable cave in. Whatever was in there before both factions fled is buried beyond hope of recovery. We scouted and surveyed the rest of the night, and well into the morning, before we were calmly and seriously ordered back to base by Soundwave… _The..._

I jerk myself from the thought before it can begin. _Nope. I refuse to think about that!_

Taking a chance to glance up, I spot Megatron staring down at Thundercracker. A grimace forms upon my lips and I look away. I pray my _Master_ will have mercy on him…and me.

"Nothing to say for yourself?" Megatron grunts. "Well, then I believe you need to be taught your place."

My optics widen. The sound of a mech crashing into the ground in front of me makes terror start to boil in my spark. Thundercracker lets out a light groan, but other than that remains completely silent.

Out of the corner of my optic I see him lifted from the floor by a wing, and tossed carelessly into the wall.

I bite my lip, my frame beginning to tremble. _Oh no…_

Megatron's crushing grip encircles my brothers neck cabling. He's lifted from the ground, and pined back against the bulkhead. A fist slams just below his cockpit! Thundercracker splutters, gasping for breath as his optics snap wipe.

Dread echoes in my spark. This isn't right. This can't be right!

Thundercracker is thrown back towards me. I shudder, wanting to shout a million things, but I bite back my glossa. _I'll only make it worse! _

Pulled to his knees, Thundercracker groans. Megatron steadies back a fist, aiming to slam it into his faceplate.

My sparkbeat thunders at a thousand star streaks a second.

_No._

"Wait! No!" I yelp, finally lifting my helm and staring at him with large, pleading optics. "Megatron don't!" My intakes cycle quickly, my spark pounds. _No! No more! This can't happen to him, too!_

Megatron looks to me, his gaze dark and his scowl deepening. He grips Thundercracker by the throat, keeping him effectively suspended on his knees.

A cold sneer edges onto my Leader's faceplate. "Oh what's this? Come now, Starscream… If your brother suddenly matters so much to you, then watch as I tear him apart."

Megatron tosses him away, straitens himself, then again walks over. A kick to the cockpit sends Thundercracker hurtling back, screaming as his helm bangs against the dashboard of a defective computer.

I look away, tears starting to spill from my optics. I take in a shaky intake, and try to push them away. "No…" I hear myself whisper, my spark giving long, painful cries. _This isn't right… This is my fault… _

"Watch!" Megatron barks.

Dread fills me. _No…I cant! _I swallow hard. _It will be worse for him if I don't._ Tentatively, I lift my gaze.

Thundercracker groans, trying to move. A heavy pede stomps on his back, and I watch in silent horror as Megatron grasps a wing and pulls back, causing a scream to fill the air. I close my teary optics, unable to watch any longer as I listen to the uncontrollable begging and pleas that escape my elder brother's intake as he screams for mercy. I know the move all too well, and my spark clenches at the thought of how much pain he is in. This is wrong. It should be me there, not him.

The sickening sound of whimpers and spilling Energon plays in my audios as I open my optics to the sight of Thundercracker frantically attempting to get to his thrusters.

Something inside me breaks. "Megatron please! Stop! He doesn't deserve this!" I cry out, tears begging to fall, but somehow, I hold them back.

Megatron growls, and backhands a struggling Thundercracker, knocking him to the ground again. Kicking him just below the cockpit, he reaches down and lands his fisted servo on Thundercracker's helm.

No moan, plea, or sound at all escapes my brother's intake. His optic seem to fizzle and his head lulls to the side. However, offlinement doesn't stay present for long. Megatron grabs a blue shoulder, and jerks TC to his pedes, effectively relieving him from whatever daze or moment of peace he secluded himself in.

"So, he doesn't deserve it?"

I stare at him, wide opticd and breathless, tears starting to slip from my eyes.

Megatron seems to consider something, something I can't quite decode.

"You two! Get him out of my sight!" I had forgotten about the drones. On cue, two identical soldiers rush forward, helping Thundercracker to his feat and leading him from the room. I stare after him longingly, but grateful that he is no doubt on his way to the med-bay.

_Clunk, clunk, clunk. _Slowly, I turn my helm, and trembling, gaze up at Megatron.

"Well, Starscream, I suppose it is just you and me. Everyone else, leave the room immediately." The sound of shuffling pedes glide across the Command Centre, and Megatron adds darkly. "You won't want to be around to watch this."

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

_Consequence. _

_I knew that was what awaited me. But I accepted that. And as Megatron beat me in front of my brother, I knew that I earned his punishment. I hoped that Starscream would understand this, too, and that he wouldn't do anything stupid. But I was wrong. Why? Why would he stand up for me? He said I didn't deserve it, but I did. I still do. I am a Decepticon. It's not in my right to disobey direct orders. So I did earn it. Though, that doesn't mean that I regret my insubordination. I needed to search for Skywarp. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him when I know I could have acted… Starscream knew that. He knows that. So why? Why interfere and condemn himself? _

_Confusion. _

_Logic no longer applies. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can see bots around me, above me, handing each other tools and speaking to each other. One stops to talk to me. But I can not make out his words. My spark is too heavy. There are too many burdens weighing me down. Skywarp is missing. Starscream is being hurt. And why? I should have stayed behind to help 'Warp. I should have stood my ground against Starscream. It was my idea, not his. I suppose I convinced him to come. It was my punishment. My burden. So why? Why interject? _

_Frustration. _

_I try to frown, but nothing happens. I can't feel anything. There is no pain, no anything. I can't move. I do not even know if I control my own thoughts. I can only feel what's inside. I can only relive my mistakes, and take in the sorrows that plague my spark. My troubles, my self pain, dignity and honour. I no longer know what is right or what is wrong. I am trapped inside my subconscious, alone, with only my feelings._

_Stirring._

_There is pain now, lots of it. More mental than physical, but I am regaining feeling. Yes. I can shift now. I can think. I am returning to my body… To where my nightmares no longer stay within my dreams. To where darkness overshadows my thoughts and decisions. To where I'm forced to act, to deal with problems and unjust pain. To where I must remain until I die._

_Regret._

_I am alive. Others are not so unfortunate._

* * *

**~Starscream~**

Searing hot pain surges through my leg! A howl, fallowed closely by grunts and whines stab through the air like knives. I clutch a severed Energon line, where the plating was ripped clean off, and stifle the bleeding.

My shoulder throbs as I try to shift myself into a standing position, and I realize that the joint connecting it to my chassis has been mortally served.

Putting my good leg under me, I grit my denta and haul myself up. I try to steady myself, but stinging pain shoots through my thruster as it touches the cool metal. Biting back a cry, I take a few breaths, and slowly look up to my Leader. _I won't let him win_. I think to myself. _I have to keep getting up. It's one thing to hurt me, but it's another to hurt my brothers!_

A servo swipes across my faceplate, knocking me to the floor and causing my collapsed ankle-joint and injured leg to land in an awkward position, calling more pain to rush to my sensors.

Sliding my one working arm under my chest, I push back a scream, and force my body to sit up. Gripping the wall for desperately needed support, I again pull myself back up. Hobbling on one pede, I stare at the floor, my spark pounding as I wait to be thrown to the ground.

A crushing servo grasps my wing. I groan, willing myself not to cry out as Megatron slams me back against the wall. "Always so disobedient…tsk tsk tsk, when will you ever learn, Starscream? Time after time again, I'm forced to punish you for your insubordinations. And time after time again, you only end up submitting. Why then, do I ask, that you continuously get in the way? It will bring you nothing but pain, you fool."

His words sting like ice. Hate twists in my spark, overpowering the pain and urge to beg for mercy. It fuels the traitorous rebel I know is buried within me, and I find strength.

Cracking an optic open, I pant for circulation, and stare at the Warlord who looms over me. Something within me makes me grit my denta and snarl at him. Although this punishment is far from over, I push to gain ground anyway.

I won't let him win. Not this time.

"Because, _Megatron_…" I spit, optics flashing and spark pounding. "Unlike you, I have a reason to live, other than power."

Megatron laughs. Full out, uncontrollable, insane laughter pierces my audio receptors. "Oh, really now! Then please, do tell, dear Starscream, what would that be?"

The image of Thundercracker, beaten and broken, fills my processor. Another, of Skywarp, laughing and ultimately knowing no bounds when it comes to having fun, fallows suit. Then they are there together, and the image quickly grows. In less then a second, I'm staring at the full picture of my entire family. I'm staring at all the people I love, and loved…all those bots, the ones that I've had to say the final 'Goodbye' to as I watched them be buried within the cold, lifeless ground forever, stare and smile at me, willing me on, giving me courage, and forcing back the fear that threatens to consume me.

My optics widen. And before I even bother to think it through, I give out the secret that's held my spark in place throughout all this time.

"My family."

Scarlet optics cycle wide, and there is silence for one brief, sickening moment. Then Megatron's gaze refocuses on me. He appears unnervingly calm. I watch as his mouth curls into a twisted, hallow smile, sending shivers down my spine, and making me cringe back into myself, wings shuddering and drooping.

His raspy voice dipping into a deep, silky purr, he says unnervingly softly. "Your family pushes you on, then? We shall see what they will think of you after I am done with you."

Confusion is my first assailment, than fear.

A servo grasps my wrist and begins to drag me away from the wall. I try to summon the strength the fight, but I find myself whimpering along; pain continuously surges through my leg, dimming the sour from my other wounds and making me hobble.

I can barely pay attention as he leads me through a door and into a corridor. I bite my glossa, temporarily, yet effectively, cutting off howls that want to escape my vocalizer.

Another jolt zaps through my frame! I feel tears prickling at my optics, threatening to fall like rivers; but I push them aside, promising myself that I can cry later, when I'm done being tortured and safely tucked away in my quarters. In the mean time, I have to stay strong.

We ascend up a flight of stairs, Megatron drags me most of the way as I'm finding it increasingly difficult to walk on my own two pedes. No thoughts or words help. None of it lessens the pain in the slightest. I take a chance to glance down at myself, and find a large, open wound, practically gushing Energon, buried deep in my leg. Several wires fizzle and cough electric charges, sending unpleasant tingling sensations through me. I look away, not daring to glance at my mangled wing, shoulder, or thruster. I just have to tell myself I've been through worse. And in truth I have. Often enough I'm unable to walk by the end, so… A sinking sensation grips me. Where _are_ we going?

I'm just starting to take notice of my surroundings when Megatron comes to a steep halt. He quickly enters a pass code, and we step into…

My spark freezes. Confusion mixed with an awful sense of vulnerability bombard me.

I'm gripped from behind, and slowly pushed towards a closed door across the room. I don't look around. I keep my optics focused on that one door, wondering what lays behind it and what is going to happen to me... I'm pushed into the room the second the door slides open. I've never been in Megatron's personal quarters before, and for just a moment, I let curiosity over take me. The room is fairly simple. A large berth. A desk stacked with a few data pads. And a few...other objects I'll probably never get to see as I'm shoved forward. Stumbling onto the soft berth, I wince as pain jabbers through my frame. Again, confusion. _What's he...?_

My optics widen.

And so it snaps into place.

"No!" I try to push myself from the berth, but something slaps around my wrists, and a servo slams down on my lower back, limiting my movement. My wounds ache from struggling and my frame demands to stay still to repair itself! I grit my denta, tears slipping down my cheeks. _This can't be happening!_ Pain shoots through me, stinging sensors and causing a helpless whimper to fill the air. I tilt my helm, trying to summon some strength to fight.

Megatron climbs onto me, his faceplate a mask of indifference. A brush to my side sends shivers dancing through me.

His servos drifts lower, and through the pain, I feel him gently forcing a certain panel open.

My optics widen and my jaw drops, even through the interminable pain, I find it within me to struggle.

_No…_

"My dear Starscream…" Megatron purrs, his other servo dropping out from my line of sight.

_No!_

"You have disobeyed me too many times, and this time, I'm afraid your punishment will have to be a albeit…mmm, _different_ from what you're used to."

_No, no, no!_

I struggle further, tears flowing like endless rivers from my optics.

_NO!_

He readies himself, pinning me and putting an end to any of the fruitless struggles. "I'm afraid this will hurt," he says without the smallest bit of concern. "Hold your breath," he chuckles darkly.

…_No…_

And I can only pray, with tears running down my cheeks, that I'll survive the night with my port intact as he forces himself upon me…

I gasp! A long, agonizing scream breaks from my lips, and I have to block any bond I've ever had to keep this pain to myself.

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

I stand down at the end of the corridor, my spark beating uncontrollably. I left the Med Bay only a few minutes ago, unable to bare sitting there as my little brother receives a far worse punishment, I'm sure, to what I did. I hold back unjust tears. It's so unfair. He is blamed for everything, whether it actually be his fault or not. Megatron just takes it all out on him, and…and… It was my fault.

I shake my helm, wanting to lay down and cry. There's nothing I can do to protect him from our Leader. I can only hope that Megatron is in a forgiving mood.

I lean back against the wall warily, fear twisting deep within me. A servo glides to my chest. At first, I could feel a slight discomfort, a fraction of the pain that Starscream is feeling, but now he has blocked me, which unsettles me greatly. What is happening to him? What is Megatron doing? Is this just another beating, or…is…he going to go as far as to permanently deactivate his Second in Command?

A shiver caresses me, and my mind involuntarily turns towards a more…subtle subject; namely, Prime and his merry group of Autobots.

Throughout the entire time my little brother and I were searching for Skywarp, I couldn't shake the hunch that the Autobots are holding him captive… Though, I can't imagine why that would be. When we retreated from the battlefield, I had been so sure Skywarp was right behind us…but could it be possible that Prime or one of the other Autobots went back, discovered him, and arrested him?

I sigh at that. No. No I have to believe 'Warp's out there…that we actually have a chance at finding him…

I close my optics, and listen to the silence. All I can do, is wait.

And so I do.

Time blends well within itself, I wait and nothing changes. Drowsiness has started to creep up into my system, but I continuously push it away, unwilling to bend to recharge. I know Starscream will need me.

At one point my processor wanders. I think back to when I was laying in the med-bay, I remember lingering...somewhere. It is difficult to explain... I-

A rush of emotions rack through my spark! I gasp, understanding at once.

"Starscream!" I take off, not caring for the mechs who give me odd looks as I rocket by. I round a corner, and spot him lying in his side just outside the Command Centre. Without hesitation I dash forward, my spark pounding as I frantically try to analyse as much of the damage as I can. And from what I can see from this distance, it doesn't look good.

I fight back a bawl and keep sprinting. Finally, I'm just about there! Gritting my denta, I jump to stop myself from colliding with him, and cautiously step towards the sobbing frame of Starscream.

But I almost immediately come to an abrupt stop, staring in absolute horror as my little brother sobs in pain from multiple wounds, and clutches his exposed, still bleeding port.

* * *

**Personal Rant: **_Why is it always rape!? _:'(

**AN/ **_***Shudders* **_**I really, really hate myself right now… I'm just…yeah…**

**Also, I've never really written a beating before, at least, not one like that… **

**But, did the whole, "My Family" thing seem **_**WAY**_** OCC? I mean, I'm not sure where it even came from! I was just writing, an then this little reason for Starscream's constant persistence, whether he acknowledges it or not, just popped up and **_**demanded**_** that I write it down! I want to know what you guys think about it, and if you think I…**_***gulp***_**… maybe…went too far... **_***fidgets* **_

**Important note: **(At the beginning) Skywarp doesn't normally think like that. He knows his brothers care about him. I just want to get that clear. He's stressed and freaking out cause he's worried about the sparkling and himself. He knows that the little femmling will be taken care of, "_Prime wouldn't let anything happen to an innocent life,_" but he himself is far from innocent, and he's scared that he'll be deactivated. To be honest, I can't blame him. Who wouldn't be at least mildly terrified?

**Origin Of Chapter Name**: I had a lot of trouble naming this chapter, but I settled on "_Lonely Burdens_" simply due to that both Skywarp and Starscream block their wing mates as, I believe, they see it as they should keep this to themselves. Bare The Burden On Their Own… Therefore, it is a Lonely and Solitary Burden. For Starscream, it is not just that fact that he was…well, yeah…but also how he is regularly beat by Megatron.

**(SPOILER ALERT!) **_You will see later on in the story about how he keeps his pain to himself, and, well, I don't want to give to much away ;P! _

And, (in a response to a review) You're right, Thundercracker is the big-brother type, and that's exactly what he wants to do. The chapter is called what it is due to Skywarp and Starscream, but, it is partly him, too. Again- **(SPOILER ALERT)** _but there's more to Thundercracker. And you will see that he blames himself for almost anything that happens to his little brothers; as well that he_ _wants to be there for them as their older bro, and protect them- you shall see why. :P _

**Anyway, so…was this chapter good? I'm not so sure on it… Please tell me what you think and if I should keep going! :D**

**Please review and have a marvelous day! :3**

**~Scarlet**


	4. Chapter 3: Darkness of Mind

**AN/ Look at me...finally updating... The reason for me seemingly quitting on this story was that, yes, more problems with it arose, and I had to do more thinking. The next few chapters I'm afraid I'm unable to take suggestions for, as, even though they're not that complicated, my brain deemed them that and took a while to come up with it, along with a few other things. Anyway, I won't trouble you with my lame excuses. This story will continue, and will continue to continue until it is over and done :D **

**Warning. This is a very, very long note. But I'd suggest reading it. Just so things make sense. **

**My older brother had a very interesting thought. See, I was telling him about this story, and, well, another problem is that, I'm having trouble deciding when this story takes place. You know, like, does it start after Season 2 - G1 - (There's something else I want to talk about after this- just give me a second) or…? And he said, "Why don't you do it from the start of Season 1? Like, re-do the show or something?"**

**So I looked the episode list up online, and I wondered about what he said. **

**What do you guys think about going through the show, except, with the Elite Trine as Autobots (so things will be very, very different)-? **

**Well, at least they will no longer be on the 'Con side, I'm not sure if they'll actually join or not… But they'll help them. (Sorry for the spoiler, but it was kind of obvious, eh?)**

**So anyway, I like the idea of it starting right before "Fire in the Sky" the episode where we find Skyfire - BWHAHAHAHAHAHA- sorry, just had to get that out -,- _ But I want to know what you think. If I do go forth with the idea, then it'll have to start, pretty much, right after this chapter. **

**So, that's why not much happens in this chapter…just letting you know!**

**Anyway! REALLY IMPORTANT NOTE:**

Okay, this is the note that really matters. This fic is mostly based off the original G1 cartoon, that hit the screens in 1984, but allot of aspects are different, such as, I've merged this universe with Prime, *evil grin* I won't go over the details right now, simply cuz this note is already a page long *cringes*, but you'll understand soon enough. Though, there are lots of things that are different- **For instance there are femmes on Earth, the Decepticons have multiple bases- like...3... There are allot of TFP characters that will at least come in to the story at one point. And this plot will be weird because it will be mixed in with the one of Transformer's Prime- except...not XD Lol, you'll have to read and see, really. **

**Anyways, kudos if you read all that! I hope you did though, that last note is important, and I really want to know your opinion on the matter of where this fic takes place. **

**~Enjoy this short chapter, in which a 16th of mystery behind the sparkling is revealed! (I'm going to make you wait a bit to see what happens with Screamer- but WARNING for that note, be REALLY cautious when reading the '~Starscream~' bits; they're pretty againsty and dark...and, honestly, I'm thinking about upping the rating because of them... Please let me know your thoughts on it, I tried to make it what it is, yet as tuned down as possible)**

* * *

**Maruniya**

Chapter 3:

_Darkness of Mind_

* * *

**~Optimus Prime~**

**A frown plays to my concealed lips as I watch my Chief Medical Officer, Ratchet, place the sparkling, huddled up tightly in a thermal blanket, down upon the soft surface of the berth.** "She's defiantly a Seeker," he says gently, starring down at the tiny, shivering frame of the child. "I wonder..." he trails off, the question on all our processor's hanging in the air.

I give a light sigh, barely a dent in the mass that surrounds us. I know that I am the one that needs to speak with the Seeker we hold in our brig, but...all the same, I almost wish I did not have to.

"Prime," begins Ironhide, hesitantly.

I nod, slowly, turning my attentions to Ratchet. "I'll speak with Skywarp, keep the sparkling warm and continue trying to feed her."

A nod, "Of course."

Unsure of how I feel about this all, I turn, and with Prowl keeping an even pace behind me, start off towards the brig. After an all too short bridge of time, I come to the Seeker's cell, and find him lying with his back to me. I think a moment on it, before dismissing Prowl. My Second in Commend nods obediently and obliges.

Taking a breath, I enter the pass-code for the crackling energy bars to deactivate, stepping inside the large cell. Skywarp lays on the berth, optics seemingly downcast, faceplate hidden. I see his wings twitch as I make my presence known fully, clearing my vocalizer and standing at attentions. Slowly, the darkly coloured Seeker pushed himself into a sitting position. He does not look at me, starring at the dull sunset painted flooring, crimson optics dim and slightly outlined from...crying.

Immediately feeling a strong sense of pity, I have to force myself to not make a move. "Skywarp, I take it?"

Still not meeting my azure eyes, he nods.

"I am Optimus Prime,"-a flinch- "and you are here for customary reasons. As you are a Decepticon, and are part of the Elite Trine; are you not?"

"I am..." the whisper is so quiet I question I heard it. But I did. The brig is silent other than the sounds of fans whirling in the distance, a constant reminder of time, a small check back into reality. But though I am surprised by the lack of suffocating tension hovering between us, there is something...strange...

It is in his optics... I can not place it.

Taking a breath, I remind myself of my intentions. This meeting can be quick...as long as I don't 'beat around the bush', as one of the children had put it once. "Skywarp, before anything else is said, I must inform you, you are not being kept here in the hopes of gaining information, and it is in my best interests to send you back to your own faction."

Something in his optics sparkle. He looks up, expression one of hope and astonishment, though he says nothing.

I continue, addressing the topic that must be discussed. "You did the right thing in bringing the sparkling here, Ra-"

"Is she alright?" I'm surprised by the urgency of his tones, the boldness in his expression, the worry in his eyes.

Promptly, I give a nod. "Affirmative. Ratchet is tending to the little one now, and, besides an unsettling emptiness in her tank, she is free from injury."

A quite audible sigh escapes the Seeker, and he visibly relaxes.

I pause a moment, reflecting on a memory file that brought up my slim knowledge of Seekers. Apparently, they are naturally parental, and our quite protective over the young. I suppose this would explain Skywarp's reaction.

Not putting any more thought into the matter, I continue seriously, "Skywarp, I am in need to know exactly what happened. My mechs did not pic up an Energon Signal at the crashed space shuttle, so where do you find the Seekerlet?"

Skywarp shakes his head. "I did find her in the shuttle," he says, appearing slightly more acquainted for, "she was trapped somewhere way deep..."

"Can you tell me the whole story?"

"From where I woke up?"

Woke up? Had he been shot? Curiosity claws at me, but I simply nod, "Yes."

" 'K... Well, when I came to, I heard all this wailing down the hall. Not knowing what else ta do, I fallowed the sound. I found her trapped under a pipe of sorts. I...didn't know what to do. I got us out of there- just in time too I might add, the whole thing was crumbling down."

I raise an optical ridge at that. I know of Skywarp for his teleporting ability - I suppose that is the only reason he is included within the Elite, - so...? "Could you have not teleported out of the...cave?"

Cheeks warming to red, he looks away, rubbing the back of his helm awkwardly, servos still locked within the statis-cuffs. "I... I... Guess I...didn't think of that..."

Not wanting to cause him discomfort or embarrassment, I quickly wave the matter off. "Never-mind it. You both are safe now."

It is in my hopes that the easy statement will lighten him some, but it appears it only succeeds in nipping his nervousness even more.

"Yeah..." he mumbles, looking unsure. "Anyway! So~" I listen as he speeds through the small story, ending when he arrived, saying. "And you know the rest."

Slumping forward in his seat, the teleporter suddenly has that strange look again... The look I just can't place...

Skywarp's tale is genuine as far as I can tell. Unsure of what else to do, he brought the sparkling to us. As I said to him earlier, it was the right choice. Now only comes the matter of release. How am I to convince my officers to simply allow him to leave? Of course he will be monitored, but...

I do not enjoy this certain feeling in my tank. That I should not keep the young Seeker here. That I should get back to my duties as Prime and start to find a way to know who she is. It is unsettling, but as always, I show none of it.

Nodding, I say, wrapping up the matter in unnecessary politeness, "Yes. Now, you'll have to excuse me, I must attend to other matters. One of my mechs will come by shortly with Energon. This matter will be sorted out." I am about to add an inquiry concerning an unbalanced look decorating the Seeker's facepate, but I decide against it. I've done all I can to disguise this matter as passive, without breaking protocol, there's not much else I can do for one of Megatron soldiers other than grant customary rights any sane Leader would.

I leave without another word, masked faceplate set neutral, depicting nothing of the thoughts that roam my mind.

* * *

**~Starscream~ **

**Disgusting.** That's what I am. I see shadows, blurry blue figures looming above me, judging me, sneering at my pathetic display of weakness. What else could they be doing?

_Whore... _That's what I am; I lay there, let it happen, useless to do other. _Pathetic... _I should have fought harder, not allowed this revolting scent to mask me. _Drone... _I am weak. I am dirty. I am filthy.

The ache in my spark doesn't make sense... I am horrible... Flashes of pain and death drown me. Victims of my cruelty slam against my thoughts, screaming vengeance, spitting I deserve it. Deserve every bit of pain my frame holds. Deserve the sick, suffocating feeling that chokes me. Deserve to have my dignity ripped from me. Deserve to be violated. Deserve to be hurt. Deserve every condemning claw of hateful agony that wash over both body and mind. My processor replays every death I've mastered, every crime I've committed, every soul I've hurt. It throbs, spitting at me, revealing to me how stupid and pathetic I am. Showing, just how disgusting, ugly, and repulsive my worthless functioning has stretched to.

The sickening filth stained on my wings and between my thighs...is earned. The pain of lost dignity and perfection is a mirror, a truth. I am nothing. Vulgar and loathsome, I stare at the nauseating feeling stabbing my spark, and accept it, the gruesome knowledge that it is no given right to be born snapping at ever idea of hope that dare emerge from the blackness that now surrounds me.

Before I fade, though, I have to wonder where the figures that loomed above, laughing at my broken expense, dismissing my cries of anguish for foolish traits of a whore, and condemning me to the fires of the Pit with their pure, blueish beings, have went?

I do not know. I do not care. I relax into myself fully. And let blessed recharge, a break from the hell that storms my offensive existence to the universe, take me into its dark and comforting mask.

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

**"Stars, please, please, _please_ wake up..."** **I whisper, watching as Soundwave nods at Scrapper who casts one last pitying glance at my younger brother before leaving.** My gaze again flicks to his passive yet pained faceplate, locking itself tight on the puffy rims of his optics, and the blueish stains of tears. I want to reach out, grasp him in a comforting, protective hold, and wipe those tears away. I want it to stop. I want to kill _him. _I want _him _dead. I want to see _his _Energon splattered upon the cold ground, watch the life drain from _his _unforgiving gaze as _he_ dies, Eblood drippling down from _his_ black spark... I just want to leave, go away forever. It's too hard, too hard to face this... I just...cant. Can't do it. I don't know how, I don't know... I just don't know. First Skywarp has disappeared, and now...this. Why them? Why not me? It should have been me... I should have-

A hiccup breaks from my vocalizer. Scrap. I hurriedly brush the coolant from my crimson optics, remembering I am not alone.

"Thank you, Soundwave," I decide to say, quietly, solemnly, starring at the relaxed frame of Starscream, he looks so...untroubled, now, as if he no longer feels the hurt... My spark throbs, I look away and continue, "I'm not sure if I could have... What I would have done if..." I can't finish. I simply do not know how to.

Sitting across from me, stationed on the opposite side of the berth, is the Telepath himself. He nods at my ambiguous expression, mercifully stating the attempt of thanks inessential with, "Shows of gratitude: Unnecessary. Soundwave: Understands."

I sigh before I bother to stop the ex-vent of air, "Thanks," my voice is quiet, my tone grateful nonetheless.

Silence falls between us, but it is an okay silence. We sit and we wait, unable to do anything other. Starscream will wake when he wakes... Involuntarily, though, I find myself occasionally glancing up at the Third in Command, wondering, what had caused him to help...

Unsure, I had held my shivering brother, scared, angry, and all together, a mess. Soundwave had virtually come from nowhere, and his presence had allowed my processor to snap into reality. There were barely any words between us. It was as if an unspoken agreement just brightened to life. The Telepath's quarters were assigned not far away, and together, we quickly moved my limp brother there. He had fallen into unconsciousness seemingly seconds after Soundwave had arrived.

Soundwave had Hook, demanding to come alone and with medical supplies, I didn't hear the details of the conversation, but when Scrapper arrived in Hook's stead, supplying that the medic was '_much_ too busy to attend to whatever trivial problem the TIC could have _possibly_ acquired', I didn't know whether I wanted to kill him, or just scream at him to hurry up. Before Scrapper saw to Starscream, though, Soundwave put his pede down that this was never to be spoken of. Scrapper had been thoroughly sworn to secrecy when he laid eyes on the wounded frame of- ...when he laid eyes on my brother, my younger, fragile brother, who-who I had p-promised _her_ th-that I-I'd...protect...keep safe...

I shake my helm, unwillingly to drown in pitiful self-guilt. I need to stay awake, calm.

I was in such a state when Scrapper worked that I could do nothing. Something about the Telepath's presence did indeed still calm me, but...I...couldn't...think. I couldn't believe it... Shock vibrated through me, I was practically choking on static. It didn't make sense... It couldn't make sense. How...how could this happen? Dreadful and sorrowful, I bowed my head, standing off in the shadows, crying to myself. It had happened again, but this time to Starscream...

Why?

Scrapper had seemed willing to help, surprisingly, and had even consulted with Soundwave to what story he would give to the other Constructicons. I had thought about snapping at him, my emotions still too hazed to see what he meant- but logic finally found me again, forcing me to realize his words. I innerly thanked Soundwave right then and there. I really hadn't...I just...

I'm grateful that he had been there, seeing logic whilst I lost myself to sorrow.

I shake my helm, just slightly, drawing into the present. Gently taking Starscream's sky-blue servo in my own, I give it a comforting squeeze, finally in check enough to softly nudge at the bond between us. I can feel nothing other than pain, but, my systems calmer than before, I push deeper, willing myself to give off nothing but quiet warmth. _I'm here, Starscream, right here, it's Thundercracker. You're okay now, you're safe._

* * *

**~Starscream~**

_**Safe? **_I do not understand. I hear the words again.

_You are safe... Come back..._

The thoughts, they are gentle, kind, they are reassuring, beckoning; I want to glide towards them, grasp the subtle warmth that calls for me, hold tight the peacefulness that promises love.

But I cower, holding back. Thoughts swirl to life, erupting in a whirlpool of dark and deadly emotions that rip at my very core, reminding me of Energon, reminding me of failures, reminding me of...

I cannot go towards the warmth. I am too dirty, undeserving.

Whimpering at the rush of feeling, I feel myself innerly curling into a tight ball, processor willing to forget the feeling of _him _inside me. The pain that flooded my senors as I was taken and _used_. And that sick, twisted pleasure I was forced into bearing... It was wrong... I am wrong... Why...why did I...?

_"Admit it"_, something seems to whisper, _"you liked it."_

I freeze. Energon running cold in my cables. Thoughts stopping, as if shocked.

My spark, tortured, quivering, and a mess of shattered dreams, finally seems to break under the weight of the words.

And I scream.

* * *

**...**_***Deep breath...just stick to the facts...just stick to the facts...***_

**This chapter was supposed to go on farther, but...I have a 'big day' tomorrow and this was the most I could write... It needs editing but...**

**Anybody else on the verge of tears here? ****I realize many aspects of this chapter may puzzle you, do not fret, it will all (well most) be explained next chapter. :)**

**What else to say? This chapter needs editing...I know...lots and lots of editing... I wrote most just today, actually... Well, it's another long story... But yeah, this story WILL continue! Also! Expect an update. Soon. I want to keep writing, just cannot at the moment. **

**Please review and tell me what you think! ********Oh poor, poor, Starscream...**

**Adieu, Dear Reader, for now...**

**~Scarlet**


	5. Chapter 4: Darkness of Mind Part 2

**Edit: **_This chapter has been __slightly edited. __As has the last. :) I just fixed some of the painfully obvious grammar and spelling mistakes and shuffled up some words to make it neater XD. _**  
**

**AN/ Hey there! Umm, yeah... I'm just going to quickly explain myself. Basically, I wrote this in a couple of hours **(But in there I took breaks to play Minecraft so I guess it was longer)**. It sucks and is probably more crappy than the last chapter :/ The reason I wrote half of this at a reasonable time, and the other half at an extremely unreasonable time **(I blame Minecraft)**, is because of the last chapter - which I have read over and have seemingly found all the stupid mistakes in it/which I shall edit as soon as I can - and that, I believe at least a good bit of you, are going, "Okay...so, where's the next part?" As I said, last chapter was supposed to be longer...and I didn't think how crappy it would be without the other bits to go with it. Ugh. I don't know. **

**Thank you to the people who reviewed! I don't really know what my head is saying right now with this story. I probably just sound dumb. I'll shut up. **

**Anywho! Here you are. Hopefully things will make some more sense-?**

**Oh! Warning though! You have to realize with this story, that all of this is happening around the same GENERAL time- POVs might not be happening **one after the other.** When the characters are in the same area, for say, if we're all at the 'Con base, then yeah, I try to make it so one happens right after the other, like with **chapter 2, _Lonely Burdens,_ TC and Screamer's POV things happened (sort of) right after the other. **Which you can kinda tell by the **slight time skip in between section thingys.** But over here in this chapter, as we have Skywarp in the 'bot base, and, well, I still try to keep the same basic idea, but its not really exact. Count on that all of this is happening around the same time, just not exactly right after the other. This'll apply for the whole story. But, again, I will always try to keep the events in a order where you can see, "oh okay, when this is going on so is this," and it all makes sense :D. **

**~Enjoy! ...please?**

* * *

**Maruniya **

Chapter 4:

_Darkness of Mind _

_Part 2_

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

**It doesn't make sense for a second. **"Stop! Please! Please _stop!" _Starscream screams, optics shut tight, endless rivers pouring from the dark rubies, fists bawled, locked at his sides by an invisible force only he can feel, and frame shaking it the utmost violent ways. It just doesn't make sense.

But then it does. Suddenly, somehow, someway. I don't care. It just does.

Horror grips me. I forget about it all. I forget about Soundwave, and this room we are in. I forget about Megatron, and this war he caused. I forget even about my other younger brother, Skywarp, who is gone and I cannot find. I just see Starscream. And the pain his spark is in.

I crush him to me. Expression unreadable as I lash out to calm him.

No... Just...no.

* * *

**~Starscream~**

_**No! **__No, no, no! STOP! _I hear it again, audios crackling as I attempt to shut out the words. _Stop it! Stop it! _They repeat, over and over again, sneering, laughing at my broken expense, "_Liked it. Loved it. Wanted it. Enjoyed it._" I shriek again, memories ripping through my mind. I had screamed, I had thrashed, I had tried so very desperately to get away! Why, then?! _I didn't! I didn't! Stop... Stop! _

_"Whore."_

I see it. All of it. I watch myself be thrown down and used. I watch, layer by layer, every inch of respect I had ever ever possessed of myself, be slowly, _painfully_- unimaginably painfully, stripped from my being, my soul, my spark. I watch as I surrender all over again, giving up, falling and whimpering for freedom...for release. I hear myself screaming. I watch myself give way beneath black hands. I feel myself ta-

My optics shudder open. No... No _he _is no longer holding me... I am in arms, I am in comfort, I am...

"Starscream!"

It doesn't make sense at first. It's a name, I can tell, but who's and why? My processor is blurred, caught between too worlds. My vision is distorted, uneven and messy, like too much water sloshed over wavy wet glass. My hearing is too fuzzy, too mixed. I can hear _his _laugh, _his _words, playing over and over again... But they no longer... It's...no longer happening... They are- the words...they're too shady, like scenes drawn from a memory file...

Someone is holding me. But _he_ is no longer holding me... Someone is speaking to me. But _he_ is not speaking to me.

Who, then?

"It's okay, it's okay, shhh, calm down, calm down... Shh, see? You're alright, you're alright. I'm right here, it's Thundercracker, every-thing's alright now... You're safe..."

I stop. Thundercracker... Thundercracker... My big brother... Thundercracker... Calm and quiet... Thundercracker... Reassuring and...safe...

I'm okay. If he's here. I'm okay... He'll keep me okay... He never used to let me do anything, never let me get hurt...

I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay...

"Thundercracker..." I try to say his name, my tone is fragile, weak, pathetic. I relax for a moment, realizing it's alright now. _He_ can't get me...if Thundercracker's here... My big brother won't let _him. _

"Shh, Stars, it's alright... It's alright..." his tone is soft and loving... I blink, fresh tears in my eyes... He's speaking so gently, as in the words ones uses when addressing a sparkling who's emotions are too delicate to be harsh... But...no. No it's not alright, is it? It's not okay... I'm...filthy...ugly... I deserve to be viewed with nothing but disgust... Look at what I have lowered myself to... Look at what I excepted... I should have fought harder. But I didn't. I should have tried to get away. But I didn't. I should have never allowed any of this to begin in the first place. But I did...

This is my fault, it was right from the start... All my fault...

I whimper, wanting to deny it... But I cannot, and my tortured spark then recognizes another fact... One much more cruel, and sickening...

Me. And my utterly vulgar ways.

On top of everything...'Warp's disappearance, Thundercracker's beating... Beyond that all...I didn't care, did I, when there were other's suffering just as much? I did nothing to help them...the ones that needed help... The ones that were hurt just as much as I am now... What did I do, in all my time in this war? What did I do? I turned a blind eye, a cold shoulder, uncaring, and now, undeserving of help. I should not relax into this comforting hold. I deserve to be shunned for my cruelty, my stupidity, my unworthiness...

It's not alright. I deserve not even the blackness of death... I deserve...to be rejected, not embraced. I am revolting, inside and out. I deserve this mark upon my tinted soul, I deserve every beating I ever received, I deserve darkness, pain, solitary...

No one should have to steal themselves to be in my presence. I owe them nothing but unreachable debt. They do don't deserve to have to waist their time with me...

I am stupid, lonesome, lost and alone.

I break away from my brother's arms. I shove him aside as he tries to rubs my wings. I bury my helm in my hands, the ever present disgust still rolling over my glossa, waiting to be screamed to the world in apologies that can never be uttered.

I deserve this pain. And every bit of hateful times it brings.

* * *

**~Skywarp~**

**The darkness around me, frightens me. **The rumbling of engines does nothing to settle my grow fear. I can't move. My body won't let me... I cannot see the sky, the open plain that never fails to bring joy into a sour day. There is only blackness, so solid and colourless. It scares me. I can feel the air, so dense and compressed. It wants to choke me, drown me under its stale breath. It scares me. The walls are a cage, slowly closing it. It scares me! The steal beneath me is shifting! I'm scared! I'm scared! Voices are ringing, stop it! _Stop it! _

"Bring him OUT!"

I'm gripped. I scream. I shake harder, feeling myself being dragged away, dragged down into the darkness, father and farther away from the sky! I scream and thrash, "Let me go! Let me go!" I cry out. Voices shout, I can barely hear my own. My wings and wrists are tugged on more. I scream. Warnings flaring in my processor! I have to get away! Get away! Get AWAY! I wrench myself away from the shadows that pull at me, ignoring the pain that surges through my frame.

A boom goes off, only a pop compared to the voices, but I hear it. And then I can't move. I scream, wiggling, digits shifting into claws to scrape desperately at the ground. More warnings shoot through me! None of the pain matters. I can feel something on my back. It doesn't matter. I can feel the shadows grip my wings as they haul me away, causing pain to erupt in my sensors. It doesn't matter. I just need to get away! "Please! Let me go!" I beg out loud. The darkness seems to stop. Not slow slightly to look; but time literally freezes. I see my chance. I can't see anything as my thrusters reboot and I'm flung away from the shadows. Hot tears scatter in my optics, but I couldn't care less. Get away! Get away!

I'm stopped. So suddenly I'm shocked. I'm pulled- no _wrenched_ against a frame, something thick wraps around my waist holding me close. Another holds my shoulders. I'm squeezed. I can't move. Blotches of orange slosh about my eyes. Sometimes white, then sometimes yellow. My processor begins to race. I scream. I thrash. It does nothing. The thick something is too strong. It holds me down. It holds me close. I scream. Sensornet exploding in warnings of danger! My processor can't keep up, it aches, it burns! Still striving for the same thing: Get away! Get Away! I try. I can't do it. I try harder. Thrashing, screaming, crying. I can't get away! I cant away! I'll never see the sky again! I'll never see my brothers again! No! NO!

I kick harder, with all my might! I cry out as I accomplish nothing and the squeezing continues, pinning me to whatever shadowy monster wants to devour my wings. "Stop! Stop!"

I can hear nothing but a ringing. My frame is hot, scorching, shivering, shrieking. I scream. Curling into myself, I feel my body rattling against my captor. Ventilations quicken, optics sting, spark pounds, I'm alone, so painfully alone. _Make it stop! Stop! _My processor screams. But I can't! Nothing works!

My helm is tightly gripped and tilted. I can't move my neck-cabling anymore. Something is over my faceplate, smothering my vision, clogging my intake. I want to scream. Nothing happens. Something is shoved into my mouth. I bite down. My neck-cabling is touched by something cool. I try to scream. Nothing. Something, something thin and painful, then is slid into the sensitive wiring, and I can feel the thick liquid inside me. I can feel it as it quickly slips through my system, jumping here to there, here to there.

I stop. I stop screaming. I stop thrashing. I stop trying. I only whimper and cry, no longer possessing the energy to continue struggling. I'm lead away, carried into...light. Suddenly the roaring of the shadowy voices echo no longer as brutish, dark cries, but as sounds. Sound that begin to make sense.

"Ironhide put him there and strap him down! But for the love of Primus-"

My systems immediately fly back into panic. I try to struggle, thrash, get away, but I'm only gripped tighter! The strong things then loosen, and I'm dropped on my back. I scream into the squishy something in my mouth. I feel my limbs taken and secured. I scream for the umpteenth time. I cry, the tears endless as they flow from my optics. Confusion perils me, but I can still make out the voices.

"I only switched off the lights! I didn't think he'd have a breakdown! Heh...breakdown..."

"EXACTLY! You NEVER think! Primus! Now look what I'll have to do to fix THIS!."

"Okay okay! I'm _sorry, _Ratch! Geese!"

"Get out! Both of you!... _All_ of you!"

"But what about-"

"_Now, _Arcee!"

The blotches in my vision are visible again, but they move more quickly this time... I don't understand. The words don't quite make sense, they lie just out of my grasp. I whimper and close my eyes. But the blackness is welcome.

I don't know how long I simply stay like this. Hunched and in tears, but eventually, I cannot cry anymore...not enough fuel...so I just shake, shake until I feel statis coming on. I don't stop. I don't move. I don't fight. Fear twists too deep to stop... Whenever I look I only see distorted orange. It's not a sky. Not the blue of Earth, Not the gray, green, or violet of Vos. Not home, wherever I am... I'm so, very, very afraid right now... So very, very afraid...

* * *

**~Ratchet~ **

**I can only wait. **The blasted Seeker would have panic attack if I came within a few steps distance from him... The medic in me pities him, the Autobot in me groans at having yet another Decepticon patient in my med bay. But what can I do? Shaking my helm to clear my thoughts of pointless mournings, I prepare a taste-0 lowgrade at 14.9% Celbrate for him. Injecting it into his systems is the wrong idea. He'll have to take it himself.

Sighing, I forcefully keep my optics off of his shivering, blanketed frame, and concentrate on reaching for my ever-present scanner and taking readings on his systems. Spark elevation: calmed, but still much too scaled to be considered average. Processor runnings: only 58% smooth. "Hmph." At this rate, it'll be hours before he can think properly. I speed through the rest of the scan, discovering what I anticipated, until I reach his fuel levels: 6.7%

My optics widen. He couldn't have burned that much that quickly! Logic immediately chimes in- I didn't scan him when he arrived... The Seeker could have easily been located in the danger zone, and I wouldn't have none.

Cursing my forgetfulness, I race for a way to get the fuel into him. He is minutes from possible permanent statis.

As I scan the room, my med bay, an idea almost immediately strikes. I frown, but, after quickly checking once to confirm he is still online, then jog for the HIRoom

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

Shocked into a stupor by the vulgar and self-condemning words that cry from my brother's intake as he shoves me away yet again, I scarcely can pull my thoughts together again in time to catch him whisper one emphatic word:

"_Whore..._"

Something akin to rage blinds me at the mention of the untruth. But it is worse than the seething anger... It is a kind of dread, more real and immediate... Unwound, defeated, my glossa is twisted, my frame frozen. Thoughts spin out of control. I feel a familiar, sickening thirst for Eblood, my optics shuddering in thoughts of the past...

Igneous burns flash across my mind, earning screams of the dying and cries of the woe. Death and its stale, grime licked smell is everywhere, stained on my paint, stained on the dead below me. All I can see is Eblood. Everywhere. On everyone... Everyone is gone, lost to the shadows, but my eyes stay locked on one form, the one I came back for, the one I long for. I couldn't think. Disbelief shook me, I tried to look away, but I couldn't. She was dead. She was dead. She was dead.

There was something not quite right about it, it- the statement, the fact, it was fuzzy, yet clear in a way. Like the pieces of a puzzle that don't quite come together, though they look like they should. She was dead. She was dead. She was dead. I fell to my knees, gripping her lifeless body, starring into soulless dead optics, wet by my own tears as I pressed her frame to mine, crying in my pain, weeping in my sorrow. No... Not another!

"Why!?" I cried, helm tilting up towards the heavens, blurry gaze searching the clouds as I screamed my agony to the stars, cursing Primus and his cruelty.

I stayed there for only my god knows now long. The flames of the fire dancing around me, but I couldn't care. I held her frame, wishing more than ever to simply feel the warmth of her spark whenever it was close to mine. But I could not. She was dead. And I was- _am_ alive.

Then, when finally I laid her down to rest for the last time, wrapping her body in with what respect I could, and burying her in flames, I felt my grief twist and form something else. Growing, growling, some sort of beast clawed at my spark, biting, tearing, _devouring_ until the pain was minute enough to move, to kill. The Decepticon emblems proud on my wings, I went out in search of Autobots, blindly killing all who sat in a single camp outside the now crumbling Vos. I saw them, and I killed them. I lost myself to my anger, and a monster was born. Four camps, one hundred and thirty Autobots alive, now dead. I killed them. Single handedly I _deactivated. _Every. Single. One... Because they had done it. Struck down my home for the last time, killed someone I loved for the last time, hurt me for the last time. On that night, I was something else. I was a void of black, constructed purely of anger, grief, impossible sorrow, and regret. I regretted so much... Do regret so much... So much in that one bridge of time. So much... I took it out on those who I murdered, those who I slay...

When they were dead, all of them, so very very dead, the regret did not go away like the beast promised it would. The grief did not go away. The sorrow clung to my spark ever more, as I realized what I had done...

Eblood... It rained from my frame. I swam in it on the ground as it swirled in endless pools. My mind was lost in black. I had killed so many...so many...

Later...I could not sleep for weeks, I could not refuel, I could not look anyone in the optics, fearing the brutal monster within... But...my processor stops. I feel the beast awakening again. I feel rage boiling, my thirst for Eblood charging, shocking. My thoughts swim. I want to see death... _His _death. I can feel it, the over powering urge to let go and murder, not many, but one mech in particular...

My voice is colder than ice. Colder than anything. "_Megatron..._"

* * *

**~Soundwave~**

I am quiet. I am strong. I am loyal. So when I hear Thundercracker's single word, promising death to my Leader, I know I must stop him. He will die if he is rash and attacks Lord Megatron, he will die... And...I...do not...want that. I clear my thoughts, painfully forcing myself not to think about the other shaking Seeker, curled up and crying on my berth, and focusing wholly on Thundercracker. I reach for his consciousness, and am almost shocked by the storm that greets me. Anger. Pure black rage. This goes deeper. I can sense it. But I do not fallow on the trail of dark and hurtful memories, and simply push myself through to where logic resides. Thundercracker, like all Seekers, possesses a complicated, colourful mind. Though I am intrigued, I am surprised to say the least, by my lack of wishing to catalogue this and that, study why they apparently think differently than other Cybertronians, and unreservedly want to strive for the logic cortex. _Could it be because Starscream and I-? _I stop the thought. Thoughts drag me back to my body. I have to stay here...and...I...do not wish to...think about that...incident. Because it is false... It is illogical.

Forcing onwards, I soon find what I am looking for. I note, a grimace on my mind, that Thundercracker is dangerously close to surrendering to whatever anger has captured him, and steal myself, locking onto his logic cortex. To a less experienced Telepath, this part of the procedure could be considered extremely dangerous, but not to me. I'll simply have to shine a light through his anger, make him see reason, make him see logic.

"Logic makes everything easier," that bastard of a monotonous drone, _Shockwave_, had said once. And I do agree...sometimes.

* * *

**~Skywarp~**

**"Skywarp. Wake up." **

I think I am dreaming. I must be. Who would tell me to wake up, here, at the Autobot base? It doesn't make sense. So I focus on the coming blackness, shivering, scared, alone and afraid, I just wait, wait for it to take me... Maybe there really is a nice place after deactivation... Maybe then I can see the sky again, and not be damned to these eternal shadows.

A tiny hand touches my wing.

My optics shock wide, my breath races, my spark pounds. I'm not sure what does it, but recognition flares to life. I try to shift, and I groan. Pain lounges in my joints, telling tales of my locked and stiff body.

Gathering my strength, I force myself to move, and...find my limbs free. Slowly, I sit up. Cables strain, gears turn, plates grind. I feel as if I have just emerged from statis. Taking deep ventilations, I steady myself, servos gripping the berth, steadying my wavering frame. As if floating on waves, I sway side to side, side to side. Dizziness drops over me. "I'm gonna purge." My vocalizer is gruff and scratchy, static creeping into the edges.

"It just feels like that," someone huffs.

I feel myself tighten, fear gripping me... The shadows...the servos, dragging me away.

"...Here," someone says, awkwardly, in the tone one uses when they're not really sure what to say. My sensornet slowly coming to life, I begin to shrink back into myself, shaking, clawing for fresh air, the sky. My hand is touched, I try to jerk back, but a voice speaks, softly, easily.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you, you're alright. Here, can you look at me? Please? I won't hurt you. Promise."

Too shaken to care about being spoken to like a sparkling, I find my optics offline, and slowly reboot them. First white, then orange, and finally purple blend into my vision. It takes a minute, a painful, unsure gap in space for my vision to lock into focus, and then I see clearly the mech standing in front of me. My over stimulated defensive systems blaring to life in common warnings, hastily screaming for me to get away, get to the sky; until my gaze falls unto what he holds.

It is the sparkling, her emerald optics wide, unsure, yet happy in a way I can't describe...I feel myself virtually calm down. Tiny blue and purple arms reach out to me. And all other thoughts fade.

The medic gingerly hands her to me, and I cradle her to my chassis. She reaches up, littlest servo clenching and unclenching as she brushes her hand against my faceplate, under my optic, wiping at the tear-stains I so freely made on my cheeks. Clicking noises fallow, a clue to comfortableness. I feel easy and calm, knowing there is no time to be shaken and unsure in her presence.

_I gotta stay strong for you, little one, eh?_ Nuzzling the side of her helm, I feel my spark quiet completely, and, glancing up at the medic (Hatchet?), can make absolutely nothing of the smirk on his faceplate.

* * *

**~Thundercracker~**

**It's so sudden I question its reality. **Images of beatings and death storm my processor- images of the Decepticon Warlord killing many in a single shot... I begin to question my original intention of dashing from the room, doing everything in my power to kill him... New images arise. On the battlefield. Many of just simply Optimus Prime and Megatron battling... Always, whether he won or lost to the Prime, Megatron always got away... If...the Autobot's own Leader could not defeat him, than how can I? I feel myself drooping, anger depleting and dread echoing deeply within my spark, wailing that this entire situation is wrong, so very, very wrong. I slump forward, reason biting at me. I could do nothing to hurt Megatron... Nothing...

My optics rise, I stare at Starscream's shivering, whimpering frame. Something stings, anger again rising. Frail, wavering logic fizzles into the background, and as I remember...

It doesn't matter. I don't care if it is impossible. The bastard has to die.

I almost stand, almost rise to run to my death, rage clouding all else, but then, I hear a voice, not my thoughts, not something supernatural, but a voice, decorated in unfamiliar tone.

_Do not be rash and stupid. Your brothers need you. _

Something inside me breaks. _W-what? _I look up, again deflating... Soundwave...

I can feel the voice moving away, slipping from my mind. Soundwave stares at me, visor bright, as if pleading. He speaks, but his tone is no longer colourful, but in monotone. "Think. Thundercracker: logical. Megatron: too powerful. Brothers: need Thundercracker alive."

Something else then slaps me in the faceplate. Something that makes me want to purge and cry for being so stupid and cruel. Brothers. _Brothers. _Skywarp! I had completely let Skywarp slip from my mind! And now-

I can't describe how I feel. Stupid. Alone. Pressured. Unsure. Lost... My emotions are mixed, a giant blur moping in sadness...

I don't know what to do... I am an awful, awful older brother...

I bite my lip, and shift so that I migrate to the berth. A hand on Starscream's shoulder, I ignore his many struggles to keep me away, and simply pull him into an embrace, weeping in my sorrow and in my stupidity and in my anger.

I can not lose myself... Never again... Not now. Not Ever.

* * *

_**There is too much to say for this chapter. So I shall say nothing.**__**  
**_

_**!BY THE WAY! **_**I can understand if you don't read my notes, but please read this one- This story was not meant to be so sad and againsty, really! It WILL get better! But for some reason...I dunno. It just turned out that it will start out all sad and depressing, which, when you think about it, sorta makes sense in a way :/... It's gotta be hard being a 'con.**

**LOL, I loved how quick the ~Skywarp~ and ~Ratchet~ POV's went XP. Let it be known, I wasn't planning on those, that's why this chapter turned into that, a chapter. I realized while I was writing this that if this is 'Part 2', then something new actually needed to happen, we need to learn something. (As- being an Anime/Manga Freak -I don't really appreciate 'Fillers' -cause yeah, they happen ALLOT- and I try to at least make my stories in a way where SOMETHING happens! XD **

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this piece of crap that I somehow got up the gut to post. Really, just like the last, it needs quite a bit of editing... :( **

**The story gets better though! Any happier :D...eventually.**

**Thanks so much for reading! I love you guys! :3 **


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